What round-a-bouts and tornadoes & I have in common.

I really like math. Why?

There is only one answer to everything (except when you take the square root of a positive number - then there would be both a positive and negative answer... but that's beside the point). No gray area. Black and white.

There are formulas. You plug this in there and get what you're looking for. Boom. Done.

You can make lists of what you need to do and check boxes off right away. No waiting. Once it's done, it's out of your mind. Problems 1-17? Check. Complete. Don't have to think about it anymore.

There are patterns. You have a fraction equal to another fraction with x in the numerator or denominator? Cross multiply and divide. Always.

You know, life would be easier if it were similar to math... right? Imagine if there was only one answer to everything, a magic formula to help you make decisions, a list of everything you needed to do to succeed, and a pattern to your life so that you would always know what to expect. Doesn't that sound amazing? Life would be completely stress, worry, and fear FREE!! (unless you hate math... but just pretend you're a math geek like me for the sake of this blog post)

...Ahh, but alas, this is not the case.

Lately, I've been realizing that life is not like math... at all. No matter how hard I try to make it be, it isn't and it never will be. There are no magical formulas or calculators that give you the answers you're looking for when you plug in your problems.

I struggle with not knowing the answers. Not knowing what I'm going to eat tonight, not knowing where I'm going to be working in the summer, not knowing how much money I have in my bank account (I mean, I could easily look this up... but who wants to do that?), not knowing if I'll be put on the waitlist for a class in my shopping cart, not knowing who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, not knowing what decision to make, etc. The list goes on and on and on and on... and ON! 

All of these things bounce around in my head and spin like tornadoes and cars in round-a-bouts that have no idea where they're going. I get so caught up in not having the answers and having to wait for them. Why can't I just know right away? Sometimes I find myself spending most of my time worrying about the future and looking back to the past instead of just being present and content with where I am in the moment. It's HARD, fam. My mind may be a piece of mush, but it is one complicated piece of mush.

So what do I do? Should I just dwell on my frustration and stress with "not knowing?" Spend my days thinking about the things I could've done and the things I will do? Well, I could. It's an option. But what good would that do me?

One of my favorite songs of all time is Forget and Not Slow Down by a band called Relient K. Whenever my thoughts seem to spin out of control, this line from that song pops into my head:

"I could spend my life just trying to sift through what I could've done better, but what good do what if's do?"

Friends, there are two words in the English language that when put together have the power to destruct. And those two words are "what" and "if." I couldn't say it better than Relient K... there is absolutely no good that comes from thinking these two words. They will only cause harm to that little piece of mush of yours.

Don't get me wrong now... thinking about the future and the past is not inherently a bad thing. But dwelling in these timeframes and putting pressure and blame on yourself for things that happened or may happen is only setting yourself up for depression and anxiety. Trust me, if there's anyone who can attest to this, it's the girl who's writing these very words.

How do we escape from these tornadoes and round-a-bouts in our heads? I'm not exactly sure how to transition into this next paragraph, but this is the only sentence that came to mind: I am so thankful for Jesus. Without the Big Guy upstairs, I don't know how I'd make it through the days when my mind just won't seem to stop. And even though He may not give me what I want (the answers), He never fails to give me what I need - peace, comfort, and love.

Earlier this week I came across this blurb in the Good Book:

"But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord;
I say, 'You re my God."
My times are in Your hand;
Deliver me from the hand of my enemies,
And from those who persecute me.
Make Your face shine upon Your servant;
Save me for Your mercies' sake.
Do not let me be ashamed, O Lord, for I have called upon You;
Let the wicked be ashamed;
Let them be silent in the grave.
Let the lying lips be put to silence,
Which speak insolent things proudly and contemptuously against the righteous.
Oh, how great is Your goodness,
Which You have laid up for those who fear You,
Which You have prepared for those who trust in You
In the presence of the sons of men!
You shall hide them in the secret place of Your presence
From the plots of man;
You shall keep them secretly in a pavilion
From the strife of tongues.
Blessed be the Lord,
For He has shown me His marvelous kindness in a strong city!
For I said in my haste,
'I am cut off from before Your eyes';
Nevertheless, You heard the voice of my supplications
When I cried out to You." 

Psalm 31:14-24

Sometimes my enemy can be my thoughts. But how beautiful it is to know that God has the power to put them silent in the grave. He keeps us safe, in a secret place, where they will not be able to find us. He hears us when we cry out to Him. No matter what you're struggling with today, know that the Lord your God is in control. After all, if we knew all of the answers, would He really be God? He hears you. He knows you. He loves you. And those simple truths are enough to calm our complicated minds.

<3 Kenzie

SHOW UP.

What do you think of the minute you wake up in the morning? Is it the weather, your schedule for the day, Taylor Swift's new single, or what you're going to make yourself for breakfast? Do you start the day off by laying in bed for another hour just scrolling through all the social media apps on your phone? Or are you part of the 1% of people in the world who not only wake up... but show up?

What I've been learning recently is how important it is to show up. To be eager and excited. To be present. To be the best "you" you can possibly be. To keep commitments. To be ready for the unexpected. To give it your all even when you feel as if there's no point. Y'all, if we're not living our lives like this, then we're not thriving.

thrive
1. to prosper; be fortunate or successful.
2. to grow or develop vigorously; flourish
(definition from www.dictionary.com)

Last night I had an open mic at a bar in downtown Green Bay. It was my first time performing there, and I had absolutely NO idea what to expect. Plus it was a bar. I was a little nervous you could say. So, naturally, I invited my two friends to come along with me. I walked in with Friend #1, guitar in my hand, choker around my neck, ready for a night filled with good music and good vibes... and there was literally, I kid you not, three other people in the room. THREE. Two of them were on stage performing. The other guy was sitting at a table watching them perform eating french fries and drinking a beer. I am not exaggerating here, folks.

THERE WAS ONLY ONE GUY IN THE AUDIENCE. ONE GUY.

Once I realized how not-hoppin' this place was, I turned to Friend #1 and just started nervously laughing. Was this some kind of joke? I got all dressed up, put on eye liner for once, and was so excited to play one of the songs I had just recently written... not expecting this at all. My smile turned flat along with my excitement.

Nevertheless, I found the sign-up list for the open mic and wrote my name next to #2. Friend #1 and I found a table to sit at and watched the two performers on stage. After each song, there was an awkward clap from a total of three people. I just kept laughing to myself thinking, "Is this for real?" I still couldn't believe what I had just gotten myself into. There were two things I was thinking I could do at this point:

1. Cross my name off the list and get the heck out of there.
2. Reluctantly drag my feet on stage to perform.
3. Show up.

Yes, there is a difference between #2 and #3. And I decided #3 was the best option. I was going to give it my all. I was going to thrive. I was going to show up.

After all, Friend #1 did that for me. He totally rejected free Packer tickets for that night (FREE PACKER TICKETS, Y'ALL.) just to come with me to the open mic. If that isn't the definition of showing up, then I don't know what is. 

After act #1 performed, it was my turn. I walked up on stage and started playing. Let me tell you, I learned how extremely uncomfortable it can be to sing your diary on stage in front of a small group. You don't know where to look. Should I make eye contact with people in the audience or just stare at the back wall? Yeah, it's awkward and weird. 

But I did it anyway. And even though I was playing for a whopping total of four people, the door to the venue was open. The monitors were loud. People were walking by, hearing me. There was a bar on the other side of the building. People gradually started walking in, one by one. All because I showed up.

And so did Friend #2, eventually. Halfway through my last song, I saw Friend #2 walk in the door and take a seat by Friend #1. Later he apologized for being late and told me it was because he didn't know he was supposed to have a meeting that night with his dorm floor. He convinced his RA to give him a 7-minute version before he came. All because he wanted to show up. 

On my drive home that night, I cranked up the music and had my windows rolled down. I was so joyful, even though that night was completely unexpected and disappointing. Why was I joyful then, you may ask? Because I showed up, gave it my all, and thrived - even when things didn't go exactly how I expected them too. I could've walked out of that door. But I chose not to because I decided to show up. And so did my friends. And seeing them sacrifice the things they could've done that night for a janky open mic at a lonesome bar to see me perform literally meant the world to me. 

It's hard to show up. It's not easy by any means. It would've been easy for Friend #1 to accept those Packer tickets and then say that he had something come up and couldn't make it. It would've been easy for Friend #2 to text me later saying that he had a meeting he forgot about instead of finding a way around it. It would've been easy for me to walk out of those doors when I saw that there was only one person in the audience. 

But what good does that do for the soul? How are you supposed to prosper and flourish and thrive if you live a life of excuses and betrayal of your commitments? Bluntly put, a life lived like that will only drag you down deeper into a pit of laziness and self-righteousness. 

You know who also showed up? Like, really showed up? This guy named Jesus. He had every good reason in the world to not. But he did anyway. He became one of us, for us. He didn't walk out the door once he physically felt what living in this messy world was like. Even though he could've partied in heaven or at a Packer game with all of his angel buddies, he decided to follow through with what he committed to - to be the one to die an excruciating death on a cross for our sins. 

How beautiful is that? He makes me want to show up all the more. 

I hope my story and the story of Jesus encourages you to show up. Don't ever hesitate. It truly will mean the world to someone else, even if it's the guy eating french fries and drinking a beer. 

CC4G: Update #4 (Last one!)

Hey, friends. :)

It's weird for me to write the last update on my summer in North Carolina while I'm currently sitting in my own bed... in Wisconsin... I'M HOME!!!! My plane took off on Friday, August 4th. Exactly one week ago from today. I feel a mix of emotions being back home... but at the same time, I'm excited to see what the Lord has planned for me this upcoming school year!

The last week of camp was starter camp. It was challenging, tiring, and exhausting... especially because at that point we were all so ready to be back home. But nevertheless, I know the Lord used me to speak to the girls in my cabin! It was so fun having ten girls who all had never experienced camp before. They asked questions upon questions upon questions (which may have tested my patience at times), and they were all just so excited about everything!!!

My favorite memory of starter camp is a funny one. So, I believe it was either the first or second night (sometime earlier in the week). Some of the staff decided that it'd be fun to throw a surprise dance party under the pavilion at 9:30 pm for the girls instead of just going to bed like we normally do. I was SO down! If you know me, I love surprises. I also love to prank people. Surprises + Pranks = One epic adventure. ;) Ahh. So, Jenny (my co-counselor) and I talked about how we were going to prank our girls, and we decided that it would be absolutely hilarious if we pretended that there was a snake in the cabin and made them all run outside and then said, "SURPRISE, THERE'S NO SNAKE!! WE'RE HAVING A DANCE PARTAYYYY!" Creative, right? The story goes on.

While Jenny was finishing up nightly devotions, I went to the bathroom and then burst out of the door and said, "THERE'S A SNAKE IN THE CABIN!! EVERYBODY GET OUT!!" Immediately, all of my girls started screaming and running for the door. They were all trampling over each other - it was the funniest thing ever. Once every one of my girls was out of the cabin, I told them what was really going on... The dance party!! To my surprise, more than anything they were mad at me for pranking them. I mean, as mad as an 11-year-old can get at an awesome camp counselor. ;)

So, for the rest of the week... my girls decided it would be fun to pull various pranks on ME. Yes, their counselor. If I had known what I was getting myself into, maybe I wouldn't have pretended there was a snake in the cabin. But, the girls had fun the rest of the week getting back at me and it was the last week of camp... so naturally, I just went with it.

Honestly, I was a little scared about what the girls were planning that whole week. I felt like I had to watch my back every second! But, here are the three absolutely harmless things they ended up doing:

1. During paint wars, my girls poured a five-gallon bucket of paint mixed with water over my head when I wasn't looking. 
2. One night, they pulled out the hair from all of their brushes, made a big hairball, and put it on my pillow. Gross.
3. I woke up during the last night to something wooden touching my foot in my sleeping bag. Ahh yes, the girls had painted wooden snakes in crafts that day.

It was a great last week, pranks and all. I know the girls had fun, for sure. Being dropped off at the airport by Jenny was so hard. Reality finally hit me... I was going HOME! I got teary eyed a bit, but at the same time, I knew that we would see each other again. Someday. I mean, she lives in Miami so there's my excuse to go the beach over spring break or something. I'm not worried. :) My other best friend from camp, Kendra, had a flight that was leaving a few hours after mine. So we chilled at the airport together and then said goodbye once my plane was boarding. It felt so weird to just get up and leave the place I had literally poured my whole entire being into for the past three-ish months.

When I finally landed at the Green Bay airport, my family and my best friend Lindsay were there to greet me and give me the biggest hugs I've ever received. It felt so good to see them all again! I had missed them all so much.

What a summer it was. It truly was an adventure - hopping on a plane by yourself that will take you to a place you've never been with people you've never met? Yep, that's what I call an adventure. I'm so thankful that I was able to have this opportunity. I know that it's exactly where God wanted me. I can't believe it's over!

Camp Crestridge, you now have a special place in my heart. Hopefully, I'll see you again one day. If I'm ever driving through the mountains of North Carolina I'll know where to stop. Thanks for making this summer one full of God's glory and one that I'll always remember.

Kenzie

CC4G: Update #3

Hello, friends and family!

Right now, I am sitting in the corner of a red sofa in one of the best coffee shops in the nation (The Dripolator aka "The Drip") located in the mountains of North Carolina sipping on an (expensive... but oh, so good) Iced Killer Bee latte while the song Waters by JJ Shiplett is pouring into my ears. Life. Is Good.

So how have I been, you may ask? Really good. Like, really good. Really. It's crazy, and I mean the absolutely-insane-I-can't-believe-it kinda crazy, that I'll be leaving this place in less than two weeks. It's also crazy to think that just a week ago I felt so ready to go back home to hard water pressure, homemade meals, and five hour long naps. But now that my time here is winding down and coming to a close, I'm beginning to realize how much I'm actually going to miss this place.

The little mouse that shows up every once in a while in our cabin.
The long, hard, exhausting climb up to my little home on the hill.
The paint wars (...even though the paint gets in my eyes, ears, and nose, and basically every other hole in my body).
The mud pit. Yes. THE MUD PIT.
The shaving cream parties.
The mountain sunsets & sunrises.
The lake that actually resembles more of a heart-shaped pond.
Making Pazooki (this delicious dessert consisting of half-baked cookie dough and vanilla ice cream. Yes.) in The Lodgemahal with my two closest friends here.
Hearing little giggles and whispers from my girls when all I'm trying to do is take a nap.
The cool, hip, and artsy town of Asheville, NC.
Driving down the highway with those awesome mountain views you can't get anywhere else.
This restaurant called Biscuit Head where I ate the equivalent of my body weight in biscuits and jams.
Standing on chairs in the dining hall and singing songs from the Sound of Music.
Random dance parties and dabbing when it doesn't make sense.
Comforting ten 11-year-old girls during thunder and hail storms.
Hearing 500+ voices sing along to a worship song that I wrote.
Singing my sweet angels to sleep every night.

Ahh. I'm tearing up. I must stop making myself feel this way.

We're halfway through the last session already. After this session, we only have one more week of starter camp, which is for the girls (or parents) that aren't ready for a full two weeks of camp. This session has been so great. My girls are so sweet, wild, and crazy! Luckily, no mice have shown up in the cabin (yet... *knocks on wood*). I had the chance to play a worship song I wrote called Echo at chapel twice. It was so amazing to see so many people praising God through lyrics that I wrote from my heart. And just to think that those words strike different emotions in every girl that sang my song... that means the world. That's what I want my music to mean... something different to everyone. When you take a song and apply it to your own personal circumstances, it becomes all the more beautiful. And seeing over 500 people do that very thing was something I'll never forget, and something I want to do the rest of my life.

It's hard to say this, but I think God has been confirming to me lately that this was my last summer working as a counselor at a summer camp. And that breaks my heart. But at the same time, I know that there comes a time in everyone's life when your season changes. And this may be that time for me.

Next summer I want to work on my music. I don't know what in the world that's going to look like, but the Lord has placed this idea and desire in my heart and I haven't let go of the thought of it. I may be dreaming big, but my God is even bigger, and I'm excited to see where He takes me as I trust in Him and follow the narrow road.

Recently, I wrote this song called Kaleidoscope Eyes. It's about how when I see the gray and the unknown in my future, I must look to God because through His eyes, my future is bright and colorful and unexpected with every twist and every turn - just like a kaleidoscope. I was talking to one of my friends the other day about how crazy it is to think of how different my life and my dreams were a year ago today. WOAH. Who knows where I'll be next year at this time?! This is what I'm learning to love about these years of my life. To be brave and to take these little steps forward into the unknown is exactly what God wants for me. To put all my trust and faith in Him, just knowing that these little gut-feelings of mine are worth something and worth the pursuit.

Recently in one of my quiet times, I was reading the parable of talents in Matthew 25. Basically, it's about this rich guy who goes on vacay and gives his servants "talents" to take care of while he's gone. He gives one guy five talents, another guy two talents, and the last guy one talent. The guys with five and two talents work hard to double the number of talents their master gave them so that when he returns, the guy with five gives him back ten and the guy with two gives him back four. However, the guy with one talent just buries it in the ground and walks away like "whatevs." When their master returns, he's super happy with the two dudes who doubled their talents but really disappointed with the lazy dude who just buried his one talent in the ground.

This story reminded me of the "talents" (not bags of gold, but actual skills/gifts) that God has given ME. My music. I don't think He wants me to bury my talent in the ground and dismiss every opportunity to pursue it - rather, He wants me to work hard every day and use my talent to build His kingdom. How cool is it going to be when I get to heaven and am able to stand in front of my Lord and tell him that I wasn't lazy and didn't just bury my talent in the ground. Even when it was hard, I want to tell Him that I chose to pursue it wholeheartedly ONLY for glorifying Him and not myself. I don't want to live this life of mine in indifference and laziness. Do you? Think about that. What are your talents? Have you buried them? Maybe it's time to dig them back up.

Ahh. Well, that's another blog post in the books, kids. I love you all and am so happy that you're keeping in touch with my life. Adios muchachos.

- Kenz

CC4G: Update #2

Hey friends!

I can't believe my summer here at Crestridge is halfway done. Only two more sessions of campers to go! These past two weeks I had a crazy bunch of campers... and by crazy, I mean C-R-A-Z-Y. It was so so SO much fun! My favorite part of the week was probably campfire night, which was last Tuesday. We made chili in a pot outside of our cabin, and randomly started a water fight with our water bottles. By the end of the night, we were all completely soaked! After our cabin's campfire, we walked (still soaked) to the large campfire circle where the whole camp meets on Tuesday nights. We sang campfire songs and heard a message from one of the girls on staff. Afterward, we all lingered around the campfire circle while music was playing and it was awesome to have that time to talk to some of my campers one on one. By the end of the night, it felt like we all had known each other for years. And it was only the second full day!

This past session I learned from my campers that I was the "dad" of the cabin and Jenny was the "mom." Apparently, I'm more chill and laid back like a dad is with their kids. My campers also told me that I wasn't as intimidating as Jenny (...hmmph). During rest hour, Jenny and I always try to sleep and we're very serious about our kids being quiet - no passing notes, no whispering, no nothing! If we ever hear a noise, we tell our girls to hush. They told me and Jenny near the end of the session that whenever Jenny would tell them to hush or whenever she moved around in her bed they would all immediately quiet down... but whenever I did the exact same things they wouldn't care. WHAT! I am deeply offended by this. (:P) Hopefully next session I will be able to put on my intimidating face so my campers actually listen to me! ;)

Some activities we did this past session were:

• horseback riding through mountain trails
• playing in the mud pit at boy's camp (SERIOUSLY, this was so fun.)
• Night Of Chaos (this is a camp-wide activity that includes paint, shaving cream, water, ice, a series of tasks, and running around. 'Nuff said.)
• Carnival (this is an activity that takes place over at boy's camp. We get a bunch of blow-up bouncy house things, cotton candy machines, and set up a bunch of games! It's so much fun. It's funny to see the guy's and girl's interact with each other!) 
• Spa night (I started off the night by doing cornrows in one of my camper's hair, and then ended up doing braids for like 932 other campers because they saw me doing it :P not as relaxing as I thought it would be, but still so fun!)
• This wasn't really an "activity," but it was definitely something that I will remember so I'll post it under this category. ;) One of the nights during devotions, my camper spotted a mouse under my bed. For the next hour and a half, we scrambled to find this little mouse running around our cabin! We moved EVERYTHING off the floor onto the lower bunks, pulled our headlamps out, and followed the little rodent around. Before we knew it, it was like 11:30 PM and we still hadn't caught the dang thing and we had been yelled at 3 times by other counselors telling us to quiet down. Soooo, we ended up going to sleep without finding it - some of my girls literally cried themselves to sleep because we weren't able to find the mouse and they were scared. But later in the week once we had enough time to convince ourselves the mouse found a way out of our cabin, we were all able to laugh our heads off about that wild night. :D

As you can see, we do A LOT in one session. By the pictures I've posted on Facebook, you may think that I'm having the time of my life here. But what you don't know is that working at a summer camp is exhausting. It's tiring. It's emotionally draining. It includes a lot of mosquito bites, late nights, and physical activity. I actually feel like I've forgotten what it's like to sleep without getting sweaty, feel water pressure while taking a shower, and eat a homemade meal. It's strange to think that I haven't been in a house, like, in over a month. In a way, working at a summer camp is kind of like getting paid to be homeless with a bunch of kids for 8 weeks. But it's the best kind of homelessness out there, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. 

Alright, I'm about to go deep here. Hold onto your horses.

God has been challenging me a lot more than I thought He would this summer. When I applied and during the months leading up to camp, I was so excited for how fun working at a camp in the mountains of North Carolina would be. I didn't think about the challenges that I would face, the ways in which I would grow or the obstacles that would be presented to me. All I could think about was the fun. 

However, God has been able to teach me a lot of things and give me a new perspective of this great summer adventure. I've learned so much about myself, who He is, and who He wants me to be. I've learned...

• I'm much more of an introvert than I thought I was
• Being 878 miles away from home is much harder than you think it would be
• I'm a small-group kind of person
• How to build a fire
• Getting messy = having fun
• 11-year-olds appreciate when you're a kid with them instead of an adult
• Rarely will a stranger approach you when you're sleeping in a hammock in a public place (no matter how afraid you might be that this may happen)
• Not to buy an avocado when you shake it and it sounds like moroccas because it is most likely rotten and moldy inside
• The secret to talking is listening
• It's okay to be quiet when everyone else is loud
• How to shave in (literally) the smallest shower in the world
• Large t-shirts are actually the comfiest pieces of clothing
• Honey tastes good on everything
• Serving others food before you eat yourself is one of the most sacrificial things one can do
• God has you wherever you are, right at this very moment, for a specific reason and purpose
• Looking forward to the future only causes you to miss out on the present
• God is making me better than I could ever make myself
• Spending time with the Lord in the morning is like putting your running shoes on before you take a run. You are then able to run faster and stronger. Spending time with the Lord at night is like putting running shoes on AFTER you take a run. 
• It can hail in 60-70 degree weather
• All people enjoy a nice back scratch
• Write songs that make sense to you and no one else
• Bring a camera and a hammock with you wherever you go
• Singing Taylor Swift songs at the top of your lungs with ten 11-year-old girls is a blast
• Smile and say thank you. Always. 
• Kids say the weirdest things. Seriously, the WEIRDEST. Instead of looking at them with the "what...?" kind of look on your face, just laugh and roll with it. 
• ...beards are attractive.
• what Patagonia's and Nort's are.
• "Y'all" is easier to say than "you guys"
• You can replace the clothes you got stains of paint and shaving cream in, but you can't relive those moments
• Being outside is so important

And so much more. And I've got half of the summer left! There are still so many kids to come into my life and so many things to learn. God is using me here, and just knowing that makes it worth it all. Thanks for sticking with me this summer, I love you!

- Kenzie

CC4G: Update #1

Hello beautiful friends!

It feels like so long since I've had time to just sit, rest, and reflect on how God has been working in my life these past few weeks here in North Carolina at Camp Crestridge for Girls. Today is my day off, so I am thankful that I am able to catch y'all up with this blog post :)

I arrived here at 4:34 pm Sunday, May 21. I anxiously got off my plane at the Asheville airport and met up with the girl who was driving me back to Crestridge. We waited on another guy who's flight came in a little after mine, crammed all of our luggage for the summer in the back of a camp van, and then drove to Ridgecrest for dinner! I was so excited during that 30-minute car ride to camp, and it was crazy just to think that the whole summer was ahead of me. Once we got to Camp Ridgecrest, we headed up to the dining hall to eat. We walked into the giant log cabin type building, and the first thing I noticed was Judah and the Lion playing through the speakers and a bunch of girls wearing oversized T-shirts and dudes with beards and long socks. Man, did I feel the hipster camp vibes. The staff was so nice and welcoming that first meal. It was a great first night!!

The first few days at camp were for lifeguard/CPR training. It was so intense, but also surprisingly fun! The training was co-ed, so the girls from Crestridge and the boys from Ridgecrest were able to hang out while doing lifeguarding stuff before the rest of the staff arrived. It was really nice to get here earlier before the full staff arrived so that I could bond with a smaller group of people first! My favorite part of lifeguard training was probably practicing rescues at the lake at Ridgecrest. It was so fun! We were all so silly and overdramatic while practicing the rescues. Hopefully, we'll never have to put our skills to use in real life this summer though. ;)

After lifeguard training, the full staff arrived and Staff Week began!! Staff Week included a lot of what we call "beautification" here at Ridgecrest summer camps... aka mulching, raking leaves, and doing other things to make camp look beautiful! I came across a lot of wild creatures while beautifying camp, most of them being spiders and weird bugs with names I wouldn't be able to tell you off the top of my head. But the most interesting creature I came across while raking leaves was this neon-pink-colored-spotted-salamander-type-thing. SO SCARY. These things don't live in Wisconsin, I swear!!

Although the majority of staff week included beautification and policy sessions, we also did a lot of fun stuff! The first night we had a girl's dance party under the pavilion with Christmas lights and s'mores and dark chocolate (PRAISE), one afternoon we had a pool party with the guys, another night we had a dance party with them, and on my one night off me and some friends went to this super yummy Mexican Restaurant two miles down the road from camp called Ole Guacamole. IT WAS DELICIOUS. If you ever are visiting Black Mountain, NC, I highly recommend it!

During staff week, the counselors also found out what village they would be counseling in for the summer and who their co-counselor was. There are seven villages total here at Crestridge, each classified by age group. From youngest to oldest the villages are Chippewa, Chickasaw, Creek, Cheyenne, Catawba, Choctaw, and Cherokee. I was assigned the Creek village, which is 11-year-olds!! Exactly what I hoped for. Eleven-year-olds are so crazy and wild, ask so many questions, and look up to you so much (they're also the best at cabin clean up if I do say so myself). My co's name is Jenny Ortiz, and she is absolutely amazing and has been so helpful! We work so well together and have become such great friends.

My favorite thing (by far) about staff week was the chapel sessions and the worship with Ridgecrest. It was incredible to worship with the great big group of college-aged students that I'd be spending the rest of my summer with serving the Lord. It was just so unifying! And LOUD! Everyone was singing, dancing, and just praising God together. No one cared about what anyone else thought. It was the coolest experience ever.

All in all, staff week was great. It included a lot of bonding, beautifying, and it was like a week and a half of camp for college-aged kids before the actual kids got here.

The little midgets arrived the morning of Sunday, June 4. I was so excited for them to get here! The first day was pretty chill. It included a lot of unpacking and singing! Every Sunday night includes Singspiration and Nibble Nook. What are these things you are probably asking yourself?!?! Well, let me tell you all about them! Singspiration is a worship experience where the whole camp gathers in the chapel and we sing and dance to a variety of songs! My favorite one that we've done so far is called Firm Foundation or King of the Jungle. Ahh! So fun :) After Singspiration, each village walks over to this ice cream shop (Nibble Nook) operated by Ridgecrest conference center. We all get a free scoop of ice cream and then walk back to camp and go to sleep. It's such a wonderful night to relax and have fun fellowshipping with the campers and staff.

My favorite part of camp so far has probably been the village activities. Almost every day, our village has a village activity, and they are such unique experiences!! For example, one of the nights this past week we had a mermaid night. It included a pool party, watching Aquamarine, dyeing our hair blue, chocolate pudding dirt cups, and getting flash tatts (temporary, of course!). It was a blast! One day, we also had slip n' slide wars with the guys over at Ridgecrest. Let me tell you... 11-year-old boys and girls interact with each other in the funniest ways! Each session, we also have a trip day. This session, our trip day was to a trampoline park and afterward, we catered Chic-Fil-A to Lake Tomahawk and had a picnic. It was so beautiful! The view at the Lake literally looked like something out of a Disney movie. Ducks were swimming all around, the sun was setting over the mountains, and little children were frolicking through the grass. :)

So there is just a glimpse at how I've been spending these past few weeks in North Carolina! Don't get me wrong, there are definitely times where I've felt overwhelmed or stressed. Working at an all girls camp is hard stuff! God has been revealing to me the struggle that I have with comparing myself to other people, but I have been digging into His word to see what He says about this issue. One verse that I remind myself of continually is Psalm 100:3, which says "Know that the Lord, He is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture." The part that sticks out to me the most in this verse is where it says "It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves." It is a good reminder that God is making me better than anything I try to make myself be.

Another part of scripture that I've been focusing on these past few weeks comes out of Ezekiel 34. This chapter talks a lot about what a good shepherd looks like. I've been kind of thinking of myself as a shepherd (counselor) to sheep (my campers) this summer. One thing that I've been realizing I struggle with is the selfishness I have with making sure my needs are met before others. Ezekial 34 talks about how a good shepherd feeds his flock FIRST. I've applied this verse literally to my life here at camp by serving my campers first at meal times before I serve myself. We run out of food a lot at the table, so I usually end up getting the salad bar for every meal. Even so, I have been learning what it's like to truly serve others and how this pleases God. He is good!!

Thank you so much for reading this and caring about me. I love you guys! Please pray that God will give me the strength and energy to pour out into my campers these next few days while I'm with them. They leave Friday morning, and another session starts Sunday already! The summer is already flying by so fast. WOW. Almost 1/4 of the way done. I love you guys and will be keeping y'all updated! <3

Best,
Kenzie

The opportunity you have every. single. day.

On Sunday morning, May 21st, 2017, at precisely 5:40 AM, I will be hopping on a plane to begin a summer adventure in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina. How am I feeling right now, you ask? Anxious. Excited. Nervous. Scared. Pumped. Terrified. All of the above!

For those of you who don't know, this summer I will be counseling/lifeguarding at Camp Crestridge for Girls. I am COMPLETELY taking a step out of my comfort zone by doing this, which is why I think I am feeling so many mixed emotions! I will be flying on a plane alone for the first time (which a lot of people have been reassuring me isn't as bad as it seems... yay!), going to a place I have never ever been, and hanging out with people who I have never met! Sounds crazy, right? Yup, pretty much.

This time of my life feels like a time of many transitions -- not just for me, but for everyone around me as well. The lives are changing of so many people I grew close to this year... people are getting married, moving across the country, transferring schools, ahh! I wish everyone could just stay. But what I've been realizing lately is that even though change is hard for all of us, it is necessary and good.

There is a strange kind of peace that comes with the transition into another season of life. I have had to constantly remind myself that although the future is unknown and perhaps more beautiful than the "right now's," God doesn't want me to focus on that. God wants to use me in the present moment to the fullest capacity. I may be counseling 40+ girls this summer, recording my first single, helping lead worship at a new church in Green bay next fall, and studying at UW-Green Bay as a chemistry major... all of these things are so great, and I am beyond thankful.

... but right now, I'm sitting at a table waiting for someone to come into the coaching lab at NWTC and ask for help with math. On my way home from work, I might stop through the drive-thru of Starbucks. Later tonight, I'll make dinner for my family and then hang out with some friends from high school before I leave for the summer. This is my "everyday life," you could say. These are the "present moments" that God wants me to make the most out of.

While it's great to plan for the future and look forward to all the amazing things coming up in your life, it's just as important to make the most out of the little (dare I say, boring?) moments that you're a part of right now. Showing love to others and sharing a smile isn't hard at all, but it has the power to make someone's day. We may never know the people we come into brief contact with that simply pass through our lives and come and go within five seconds -- but while they do, we have the opportunity to have an impact on them.

Whether it be your bus driver, your waitress, the person you pass on the sidewalk, or a drive-thru Starbucks cashier -- God puts us in moments with specific people for specific reasons, no matter how brief. Don't waste your opportunity. Make the most of those moments by taking your eyes off of what's to come in the future and focusing on the impact you could have now.

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So there's your encouragement for the day. :) I also just wanted to let you all know that throughout this summer I am going to try to post CC4G (Camp Crestridge 4 Girls) updates on my blog each week like I did last summer. I am excited for what God is going to do, and how He is going to use me there. Please pray that all my fears would be calmed and for my campers and that their hearts would be opened to whatever God has in store for them this summer! Wow!! Here's to new seasons, new adventures, and making the most of every moment (even the typical/boring ones!) where you have the ability to have an influence. <3

Willy's Cake Is Better Than Yours.

I'm done living up to a standard.
I'm done making lists and checking things off.
I'm done trying to earn my way into heaven.
I'm done living in fear and regret.

All I want is freedom.

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God is not, and never was, my "job." I don't have to punch in and punch out the time I spend with Him (praying, reading the bible, etc.) and meet a certain number of hours each week. I don't have to wear a certain outfit to church like I have to wear a uniform to work. I don't fear Him unforgivably cutting me off when I sin like I fear being fired from my job.

God is and always was my Father. I have a relationship with Him. Do you keep track of the hours you spend with your best friend making SURE you meet a certain number each week? Do you wear a certain outfit every time you hang out together? Are you afraid that your best friend will disown you if you wrong them? Of course not!

This is exactly what my relationship with God looks like. I don't spend time with Him because I have to. I do it because I want to. I don't go to church on Sunday's because it's a rule, I go to church on Sunday's so I can learn about the God of the freakin' universe who created you and me and my fish Billy and photosynthesis. Why would I NOT want to learn about this Dude?!? This Guy came down from Heaven (ehem, did I mention that He was FULLY God, FULLY man), suffered and died in the most humiliating way on a cross, rose from the grave, ascended into heaven, just to PROVE how much He loves us... so much so that now we have FREE access to God. FREE!!!

Back in the old days (Old Testament) before there was this guy named Jesus, the law was real. The phrase "the law" refers back to the first five books of the bible with rules that the God's people had to obey. When the law was broken, so was their relationship with God. That's why it was SO important to them! Sacrifices were real, and they had to be made to atone for your sin. But here's the good news for us...

Jesus was the ULTIMATE sacrifice - living a life of perfection and dying for us. As a believer in Christ and what He did for me, it is out of my love for God and my thankfulness for Jesus that I strive to obey His commandments (His commandments are different from the law in the OT, btw). Just because the old law is broken, doesn't mean God is OK with us running around murdering people! God hated sin back then, and He still hates it now. Take a look at these verses from Hebrews:

"Under the old covenant, the priest stands and ministers before the altar day after day, offering the same sacrifices again and again, which can never take away sins. But our High Priest offered himself to God as a single sacrifice for sins, good for all time. Then he sat down in the place of honor at God’s right hand." Hebrews 10:11-12

It's all about grace, folks. I mess up every single day. You do too. But because of what Jesus did for me, I can approach God exactly the way I am - a dirty, no-good-for-nuthin' sinner - and He welcomes me with open arms. He molds me into who He wants me to become. I don't have to mold myself by doing "good things" and "being nice."

What an insult to God.

When He sees you trying to EARN your salvation, He shivers. He already earned it for you! Let's say your friend baked you a delicious cake. We'll call him Willy. Willy put SO much effort into this cake - it was perfect! And He made it just for you. When Willy shows up one day at your door to give you the cake, you refuse to accept it. Instead, you try and make your own cake for yourself. How do you think this guy Willy would feel?! Probably really heartbroken. And that's exactly how God feels when we don't accept His cake (His grace). We try and do it on our own, but it never ever ever (and I repeat, EVER) works.

Now I've got a question for you. Are you trying to be good? Are you refusing to accept Willy's cake? Are you refusing to accept God's grace?

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Or are you... free?

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galations 5:1

The Problem with Doritos Fingers

If you know me, you know that I love shopping in the weird organic section of the grocery store. I have always loved eating healthy because I don't feel sick afterwards, and because I can eat more food that way (but don't get me wrong, Taco Johns is my guilty pleasure and so is anything deep fried and chocolate covered). I've recently realized that being healthy is all about your lifestyle rather than a diet or workout mania you go on for a little while. Those things are great, and they can get you back on track, but before you think going on a diet or going to the gym will solve all of your problems... let me tell you something. It won't. In fact, it might create more problems.

The first question you need to ask yourself before wanting to diet or workout more is this: why? Is it because...

(a) you want to get in shape?
(b) you want to be attractive?
(c) you want to gain confidence?
(d) you want to be able to do the Tough Mudder?

The list goes on. I try and ask myself this question all the time. I need to remind myself of my motivation behind me living a healthy lifestyle, otherwise it doesn't mean anything to me, and going to the gym and eating salads for lunch just becomes something I force myself to do. It becomes frustrating. So how in the world can we switch from the "month-long diet" mindset to the "healthy lifestyle" mindset? It sounds like a major step, but it's really not. Think about this...

Your body is a composition of 78 organs, 206 bones, over 600 muscles, and billions of nerves. Wow. Think about that for a second. Doesn't that kind of freak you out? For me, the complexity of the human body just points back to how great our God is. God didn't have to create us the way He did; He didn't have to make our brains able to hold memories from 10 years ago, He didn't have to make us all have beautiful different eye colors, He didn't have to make us with voices that can sing and hands that can play instruments... He didn't have to do any of that. But He did, because He loves us. And that alone should give us the full motivation we need to take care of our bodies.

It seems that modern-day Christianity purposefully strays from the importance of physical well-being... at least in America, maybe because over 68% of us are obese and we don't think that's much of a problem... However, taking care of yourself is another way to honor God that should not be overlooked.

Our bodies are the very first thing other people notice about us, and therefore they should glorify God and point back to Him. I'm a very blunt person, so I'll just put it this way: if you're a greasy fat guy laying on the couch with your hand in a bag of Doritos and a BBQ stain on your shirt, there is no way that I'm going to want to listen to anything you have to say. Clearly, you don't care about yourself, so how could you care about me? Now that was a bit of an over-exaggeration, but you get the point. Since God loved us so much to give us these freakin' awesome bodies, the least we can do is take care of them... because of Him.

So next time you crave a nice honkin' slice of chocolate cake, make a salad instead eat it. Next time you just feel like you need a day off from the gym, just go take some time to rest.

Guys, ponder what a healthy lifestyle looks like. Well I have some good news for you: It's not about eating salads, going to the gym, counting calories, or checking things off a list; it's about loving your body and doing what's best for you and what you need. 

It's about self-control.

Galations 5:22-23 even says, "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." If we claim to have the Holy Spirit living inside of us, it should be easy to get in the healthy-living mindset because we already have our motivation down - Jesus Christ. It is only out of thanksgiving and love for Him that I live the way that I live. Yes, I mess up and fall short. I have and I will. Sometimes I find myself laying on the couch with greasy hair and my hand in a bag of Doritos. And that's okay, we're all human and that's exactly what we need sometimes. But what we need even more is Christ's love to embed itself in every single part of our lives... including the way we treat ourselves.


P.S. I hope this blog post encouraged you all. One of my recent "healthy lifestyle" decisions was to dispose of all my Bath & Body Works products (I'm still working on it... it's a process...) and make my own lotions and stuff instead. It's cheaper, better for your body, and all-natural!
Today I made this AMAZING mint chocolate body butter. Yup, that's right. Here's the recipe I made up if you want to make some for yourself:

Mint Chocolate Body Butter
1/3 cup organic coconut oil
1/3 cup organic cocoa butter
1 Tbs. jojoba oil
5 drops peppermint essential oil

Melt the coconut oil, cocoa butter, and jojoba oil together. Refrigerate until solid. Whip mixture for about 20 minutes until you get a nice and fluffy texture (the volume should expand). Add 5 drops of peppermint essential oil while mixing. Store in a glass mason jar of some sort and post a picture on Instagram of your new awesome creation.